We have not posted a whole lot on our blog these past few months. We have been poorly behaved bloggers. Things in America have kept us busy and stressed. Politics and policy became more important than fun and cultural enrichment. Travel, for us, took a backseat.
Over the weekend I was at my wits end. All of the protesting, petitions, phone calls, took precedence over traveling and blogging. I looked at Kenin and said “Hey, we need to get the hell out of Dodge for a few days.” I wanted see something new, meet new people, taste new foods. I wanted to travel.
I opened up my laptop and we started looking for a quick getaway, maybe a cruise, a quick trip to the Caribbean, or a shot jaunt to a European destination. Then I froze. I thought about the current state of our country and the raids for rounding up immigrants. I thought about immigration officers in airports going through people’s phones and splitting up families for questioning. I thought about the citizens, with US Passports, that have been detained just because of their names or skin color.
Travel is supposed to be fun. It is supposed to be stress-relieving and rejuvenating. People go on vacation to get a break and they are supposed to come home feeling refreshed. I didn’t even buy a plane ticket and I was already thinking of the dread of coming home. Being a brown woman, even though I hold an American passport, I feared coming home…HOME!
I didn’t want to go on vacation, only to return and be held at the airport like a criminal.
I know this is a travel blog, but I’m not sure how or if I can continue writing about my travels. Kenin and I have already covered 49 of the 50 states. I want to go out into the world and see new things, but I am terrified of coming home. This is my home and now I am afraid to leave for fear of returning. It’s as if someone has placed guards in my house that won’t let me in until they can verify my identity. I bought the house. My photos are all over the walls. My fingerprints are on every surface. My hands planted the trees in my backyard. My friends ate at my dinner table and slept in my guest room. My heart and soul is in that house, but my guards, those that are there to protect me, won’t let me enter.
Heartbroken and scared I told Kenin that we could just get out of town for a few days. We took a two hour drive down to Corpus Christi, TX and stayed locally. We took a few drives up and down the coast. We even found some local restaurants, all run by immigrants I might add, where we had some amazing meals. We came home and while I do feel a wee bit better, my heart did not mend.
I am a traveler. I have a serious case of wanderlust. I am an American citizen. Today though, what people need to know about me is that I AM AN IMMIGRANT.
I will get back on my traveling horse. I will be brave. I may not be fearless, but I will always be brave. While I may be grounded to travel in this amazing country for now, so that I can keep my sanity intact, I will not let this current state of affairs stop me from seeing the world. When you get out there and see the world and the fantastic people that make up this amazing planet that we all live on, you gain understanding, you gain culture, you gain empathy.
Right now this country, this world, needs more empathy. I will continue to be the change I want to see in this world. More hugs, more love, more understanding for all.
I will continue to ramble on. :)
Saw your FB post and of course had to read this. Sitting here shaking my head because I agree with you. All of it. Especially about being afraid to travel. This is not the America I grew up in and love. Sorry, no more words…. :-(
Oh I so understand. I am in a position where I could most likely travel to the US without issue (white, US passport) but I am so ANGRY. So angry that this is what has become of my country. So ANGRY that those I love were part of the people that put this in motion. So I am lucky. I get to continue to see the world, just not my home. While I pray that things change and help best I can while living away. Hugs to you.
So many in the world are afraid to travel right now. Most have.a fear of GOING, your’s is the fear of RETURNING. Both are valid concerns and I hope humanity is able to overcome them. Be brave, stay safe, travel where you’re able!
<3